Brothers in the Wasteland
by Adrastia
Summary: After their supposed ends Loz and Yazoo find themselves awakening in a vast wasteland with no idea where they are or how they got there. And there's more to escaping than just finding the way out. My first fic with these characters. I hope I did well.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I'm taking a risk with this one. I thought I'd try something very very different! And if I fail in my experiment… Well at least I tried. And you can't fault me for that. At least I hope not. o.o

This is a fic about the Remnants from Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children. I had forgotten all about these guys until I found a fanart of Loz cutting off Reno's ponytail! XD

I've never written about them before but I thought I'd give it a whirl. There are some characters, like Cloud for instance, that I don't do well writing. I fear that Yazoo may be one of these. I'm not sure if I can do a Vincent either but then again I've never tried in a serious fic. But I'm going to try and I hope I do fine. A good deal of the fic is already done as I post this. But I'm not going to put it all up at once because I'm working very hard to make it just right.

After their supposed ends, Loz and Yazoo find themselves turning away from what they perceive is a trick to keep them from finding Mother. They both fall into darkness and wake up in a vast wasteland. With no idea where they are or why they have to struggle to survive as they slowly begin to change from within. And in the end I'm sure they'll be just fine…

Please enjoy. I hope.

Adrastia 12/1/09

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**Brothers in the Wasteland ch. 1**

There had been a flash. A forceful explosion had burst forth from within them, engulfing everything around them in an attempt to...

_All go together...?_

Why? What was the point again? He couldn't really remember. There had been intent. But it was now deeply veiled behind a wall of perfume that blurred everything in his mind.

_Reunion? Mother?_

Something like that. But right now he could not collect his thoughts into a string of coherence. So it was all very familiar yet none of it made sense. He felt himself enveloped in something that was fleetingly pleasant. The smell of flowers. It was very nice. _"But I hate the smell of flowers…," _he thought to himself. Didn't the smell disgust him when he entered the church? He wanted to retch. So why would the smell of flowers be pleasant to him now?

He saw a hand reach out for him. It was soft and feminine and beautiful. Like a mother's loving hand reaching out to pull her child close to her heart. "Mother?" He called out weakly. "We finally found you…"

"Come here," a soothing feminine voice called out. It was so gentle and serene. "He's waiting for you…"

Something felt…

_Wrong._

That explosion and the rain... He remembered now. He was entering the Lifestream. But he had missed the Reunion hadn't he? This woman was trying to drag him down into death when he still felt alive. He had to have survived. He was far too strong to go down from a materia detonation or the burning holy rain. It was coming back to him slowly. The intent. The purpose. What they had chose as their final stand. It could not have been the end. His life burned with more intensity now than ever before. He couldn't possibly be dead if he felt like that.

_Therefore…_

This Mother was false. A trick. This witch was trying to tear him away from his real Mother and prevent him from joining the Reunion. "You're lying to me!" He cried out. "You aren't her! You smell like flowers!"

"It's alright," the woman's voice called out. "It's all over now. Your brother has been waiting."

"Don't talk about Kadaj like that!" He cried. "Kadaj would never keep me from Mother!"

"But Loz-"

"No!" He cried. "Get away from me!" And so he turned away from the outstretched hand and fell deep into darkness.

He had been very weak. Worse off than his older and stronger brother. But then again his brother was dying too. He couldn't even hold the gunblade in his hand. It just fell to the ground with sickening clang. His vision was blurred and his strength was gone. The only thing that still felt solid and real was the…

_Materia_

His older brother had found it at the church. And it had proved to be very useful. Big Brother Cloud had collected that materia two years prior. It had been used once to prevent Mother from returning. But now it would be used to avenge her and punish Cloud for ruining the…

_Reunion…_

That's what it was called right? Everything felt very confusing to him now. All he could think of was Mother and his brothers. But the details were not coming together the way they should. He just didn't want to think about these things right now. And he could smell something strange. Something that he disliked but was willing to tolerate more than Loz would.

_Flowers. Lilies…_

"What's going on? Where am I?"

A hand reached out. It was the hand of a young woman. It could even be considered motherly in his eyes.

"Mother?" He called out softly. "You didn't abandon us…"

"You're safe, Yazoo," the warm and inviting voice called. "Come see him! He's so happy that you're finally here!"

_Something began to bother him…_

She had to be talking about Kadaj. The one who got to see Mother before they did. Why was he so special? It wasn't fair. But in the end it didn't matter. Because the materia would take them all to Mother. Even Big Brother had to come. This time he had no choice. What could be a better punishment for a traitor than being sent right into the bosom of the Mother he had forsaken. Let him burn before her visage. Let him see the glory he had refused. Mother would punish him for being so ungrateful. And then he would learn. That would teach him.

Yazoo's thoughts of vengeance were broken by the sweet voice of that woman again. She was calling his name. She was stretching out her hand. He wanted to reach for it but something held him back. Something made him stop and think for a second. And the doubt crept in stronger than before. This wasn't Mother. It couldn't be. Because they had…

_Been distracted by Rufus Shinra's men…_

He remembered more clearly now what had happened. Kadaj had faded away. He had found Mother and was with her now. But he and Loz had not. They never got to see Mother because they were delayed. And then there was the rain. They had failed and knew they were dying. They might as well go out with a bang and take Big Brother with them. And if Mother still loved them then she'd see their noble sacrifice as an honor and take them too.

"Then why am I sure this isn't Mother?" He thought to himself. Something on the tip of his mind finally collided with the reality he was facing and the answer came to him.

_Flowers!_

"Mother only loves the barren wasteland! She'll bring this planet to its knees! You lie woman. It's a false Reunion."

"Please…," the voice called out soothingly, hand still outstretched. "Don't be afraid. It's al-"

But Yazoo had already turned away. Darkness surrounded him. And in that darkness he'd find his real Mother. He just knew it.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: So they are in the wasteland. Loz wakes up first but Yazoo is still unconscious. Loz, thinking Yazoo may be injured cares for him the best that he can.

You might be wondering about the flowers from this chapter and the first. In "The Odyssey" Odysseus' men come upon the land of the Lotus Eaters. And by eating the lotus one is able to forget their past and live only for eating the lotus. A kind of apathetic life really. I decided to change this up a bit. The scent of Aeris' flowers in the Lifestream are like the lotus in that they make you forget pain and you feel at peace. So if you draw a parallel that's it. I just made Aeris' flowers a more positive thing. But I was thinking of the Lotus Eaters when I wrote about it.

Adrastia 12/1/09

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**Brothers in the Wasteland ch. 2**

When Loz awoke the sun was in his eyes. The ground he was laying on felt hard and rough. His body was aching badly and he had to struggle to sit up. When he finally managed to do so he saw his younger brother laying next to him. He wasn't moving.

"Yazoo?" Loz said, nervously. He was hoping that the unspeakable could not possibly be true. But when he put his hand gently upon the slender man's chest he could feel the shallow rise and fall of his breath. Loz was relieved. And although he was curious as to where they were and how they had ended up there, his first priority was his brother's wellbeing.

"Please wake up, brother," Loz said gently, nudging him. "Please."

Nothing happened. Yazoo remained out cold. Loz began to carefully check him for injuries. He found nothing. Perhaps it was the explosion that had knocked him out. If so it might be dangerous to move him. Still, Loz wished that he at least had something soft to put under his brother's head. So he undid his straps and took off his jacket. It made a reasonable pillow and Loz was satisfied. The hot sun felt a bit uncomfortable against his bare skin but it was a small price to pay for his brother's own comfort.

"You aren't breathing well. I'll make it easier," Loz said softly as he carefully unzipped Yazoo's long coat. He stopped just before the naval, hoping that gave him ample room to relax his tired lungs. After a few minutes the breathing deepened a bit and Loz was happy to see that. But still he did not stir.

Deciding that it might be alright to take some time to look around after all, Loz rose up carefully to survey the landscape. It was bleak. There was nothing to be seen for miles around. The ground was hard and gritty. Rocks of various sizes were strewn about but none were particularly large. The sky was hazy and the sun was strong. It wasn't hot enough out to be too uncomfortable but the air was so still and stagnant that the heat felt lifeless.

"How did we get here, Mother?" He said, looking out into the horizon. "Are we being punished? I'm sorry if we were bad. We tried so hard… it's all Big Brother's fault. But we will find you, we promise. Then you'll want us again. I knew I was still alive and that witch woman was a liar. Those flowers… I can't believe that for a moment I actually liked that smell."

However, even as Loz called out to Mother something felt amiss. But he could not put his finger on what it was. When he was nearing the Lifestream something fogged his memories. Those flowers… Something about them suddenly made sense. The scent was trying to wash the pain away. Trying to wash away the entire ordeal. That's why he began to trust the woman's voice and her outstretched hand. It offered bliss. It offered peace. It offered an escape from….

"Mother," Loz said grimly. "But why? What am I missing here? I wish Kadaj was here because he could tell me what I needed to know." He then turned to Yazoo, looking down at him. Loz could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. But there was no one to tell him not to cry. So he just kept crying. He kneeled down before his still unconscious brother and gently embraced him, careful not to move him or labor his breathing by holding on too tight. Laying his head gently on his chest, the eldest brother continued to weep.

He wasn't sure how many minutes had passed but his stock of tears were running low and all that seemed to be left were choked sobs. He felt a hand stroke his head gently. Slender, gloved fingers running through his short silvery hair. At first he thought that he was imagining it and the comfort that it brought. But it was very real. And so was the soft, tired voice that went with it.

"Don't cry Loz…"


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Did I do Yazoo well? Like I said, certain characters… I'm just bad at portraying them. But I did the best I could.

Yazoo has woken up and he seems ok. He's obviously aggravated at the situation. Less so than Loz who's more or less focused on the here and now and the wellbeing of his brother. There's an uncomfortable exchange about "you know who". Why so uncomfortable? I'll handle that in later chapters. And I'm sorry that the chapters seem short. You see, the documents look so long on my program. And I intend to end each chapter at a certain point for the sake of the story itself. So that's why. Don't worry. They do get longer. Short chapters do make for easier, more convenient, bite-sized reads though.

Adrastia 12/1/09

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**Brothers in the Wasteland ch. 3**

"Yazoo?" Loz cried, springing up to look at him. "You're awake!"

Before Yazoo could react or say anything Loz embraced him tightly, lifting him slightly off the ground. Then suddenly he realized that his younger brother might still be hurt and set him gently back down.

"Thank you kindly for not crushing me," Yazoo gasped, sounding slightly annoyed. "And where is your jacket? Do you not see the sun up there or feel that heat?"

"It's under your head brother," Loz said. The ground was really tough and I didn't want you to be uncomfortable."

"And I assume that's why you unzipped my coat as well? Comfort?"

Loz nodded. "Yeah. To help you breathe better."

Yazoo smiled slightly, most of the gratitude simply showing in his eyes. "Thank you…"

The middle brother then slowly sat up and grabbed Loz's jacket, handing it to him. "Put this back on. Porcelain skin and blazing sun do not go well together you know."

"Thanks," Loz said, dusting his jacket off before putting it back on. Doing so caused a rain of tiny pebbles hit the ground and send up a small cloud of dust. Yazoo sneezed.

"Sorry," Loz said apologetically.

"It's alright," Yazoo answered, slowly rising. He zipped his coat back up as soon as he was standing. He then looked around passively and shrugged. "Do you have any idea where we are brother?"

Loz shook his head. "No. Where?"

Yazoo stared at him blankly for a second then just shook his head, resisting the urge to say anything that might bring on a fresh flow of tears. "I was asking you because I was hoping that you knew."

"Well I was hoping that you knew because I sure don't…" Loz said, his voice slightly mopey. He didn't want his brother to get annoyed with him but he felt stupid for not knowing anything. After all, he was the elder brother and he was the one who had woken up first. He should know more than he did. But sadly he didn't and there was no way for him to compensate.

"So then…," Yazoo began pensively. "We're lost?"

Loz nodded. "I think so."

"Well then what are our options?"

"Loz looked down at the ground feeling helpless. "Dunno…"

Yazoo sighed and spoke absently. "Well then… That's helpful isn't it?"

Loz clenched a fist. Was he going to be belittled for not knowing what was going on? He really didn't think that was fair. But he also didn't want to argue with a brother that he knew could be difficult to begin with. It wasn't worth it and would only waste time that could be spent trying to sort things out. He unclenched his fist and sighed. He would try to keep his cool.

Yazoo began to walk around slowly. He kicked a small rock and watched it fly a short distance. He stretched out and smoothed his leather clothes. He ran his fingers through his long silver hair, combing out debris. Loz watched him intently. Several minutes passed before the middle brother finally spoke again.

Yazoo pointed at the holstered gunblade strapped to Loz's thigh. "Is that the only weapon we have?"

Loz nodded, touching the handle thoughtfully. "Yeah. That's it. Big Brother broke the other ones we had, remember?"

"Ah yes… I remember. But I thought I had yours when-"

Yazoo trailed off. He stayed silent for several moments. He looked up to the sky and then looked to Loz. "How did we get here brother? And don't tell me that the force of the blast did it. Because that would make absolutely no sense. None at all."

"I don't know," Loz answered, getting upset at himself again. "I'm really sorry that I don't know. I woke up here after I smelled the flowers. After I saw her hand. But she wasn't Mother. She was lying. Or at least that's what it seemed like. I was alive and she was trying to make me die so I couldn't find Mother again. She was going to separate us from Mother. She said Kadaj was with her too."

Yazoo nodded. "Exactly…"

"You too?"

"What did I just say?" He added, slightly annoyed. But more so at his situation than he was at Loz. However his brother didn't see it that way and his lip began to tremble.

"I heard you, Yazoo…," Loz choked.

Yazoo let out a tired sigh and placed his gloved hand on his brother's cheek. "If you cry," he began, "You'll lose water. In this environment that could be dangerous. And I wouldn't want anything to happen to you brother. You know that…"

Loz smiled and hugged his brother gently, careful not to squeeze as hard as he had the last time. "Yeah I know. I'll be careful…,"

"Anyway," Yazoo said, pulling away from Loz. "We had better figure out what we are going to do."


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: Hey again! Do people read these things? I just write them anyway because they kind of help me out. I feel a bit more confident when I'm trying to explain things.

First off, let me apologise for the slow pace. Thinking back ch. 2&3 should have been combined. As I said before it's an experimental fic. So I'm not going to hate myself for how it turns out. I haven't done anything really serious in so long that I do feel kind of rusty. So bear with me mmmk?

In this chapter they finally start moving. Finally! Loz likes leading. He's having a fun time! This chapter is sort of fun actually. But it's going to get a lot darker soon. So enjoy it while it lasts.

Adrastia 12/7/09

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_**Brothers in the Wasteland ch. 4**_

"There's nothing around for miles," Loz said glumly. "It's all wasteland."

The middle brother looked around again and nodded. "That's certainly true…"

"We should probably be walking somewhere, "Loz said.

"But where?"

Loz shrugged. "Anywhere but here sounds good to me."

Yazoo gave a slight nod of agreement and they began walking. He allowed his elder brother to lead him, not feeling like taking over the leadership role just yet. He knew he was more clever and resourceful than Loz. But the short haired man seemed so down that he thought the vote of confidence would cheer him up. If anything serious happened Yazoo would merely exert his dominance via his own persuasiveness. After all, there was more to his allure than mere looks.

They walked on for a few minutes before Loz stopped suddenly. He turned around to face Yazoo, looking a little panicked.

"What's wrong now?"

"I'm not going to cry!" Loz said, annoyed. "Why do you always have to-"

"I wasn't going to ask that, brother," Yazoo said tiredly.

"Oh… sorry then," the elder replied, looking a bit embarrassed. "Anyway, I just noticed… There aren't any animals here. Not even a bird. But we've never been around here before. I'm pretty sure of that. So we really don't know what to expect."

"Do you think we're being careless then?"

Loz nodded. "Possibly. I think we should be a little more cautious until we know the lay of the land. You know, just in case."

Yazoo was impressed with his brother's foresight._ "Perhaps he would make a reasonable leader in certain situations,"_ he thought to himself.

Loz looked at his brother impatiently, waiting for a response. "Yaz?"

Yazoo nodded. "You are absolutely right. "

Loz's face brightened at this. "I am?"

"Yes. We shouldn't take this area lightly just because it appears to be barren. The worst always seems to happen as soon as you let your guard down. Very clever brother. I am impressed."

Loz smiled . Yazoo was impressed with him. And he had even called him clever. He continued, feeling elated. "We only have one weapon between us."

Yazoo nodded. "Right. And unfortunately none of my materia survived.

Loz nodded in agreement. "Yeah mine's gone too …I miss the Dual Hound most of all though…"

"Don't worry so much about it," Yazoo reassured. "You don't need a weapon that badly anyway. You pretty much are one."

"Yeah!" Loz cried, smacking one fist into his palm. "You're right. But if you want to take this gunblade go ahead. You need it more than me."

"You hold onto it for now," the long haired man said. "I'll grab it if I need it. Or you can toss it to me. I just don't feel like carrying anything heavy right now. I feel kind of tired…"

"Ok," Loz replied. "Sure. You alright though?" There was a slight tone of worry in his voice.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm just tired. And it's hot."

Loz still looked concerned, although he was happy that his brother was being so talkative. It was lonely out here and Loz really didn't like being alone. If he were out here all by himself he shuddered to think just how he would cope.

They walked on and on for what seemed like hours. But in reality it was only about thirty minutes. The stagnant air and unchanging scenery just made it seem like more time had passed. Yazoo noted that by the position of the sun in the sky it was probably close to noon. He felt thirsty but didn't bother to bring up the issue. There was no reason to because there wasn't any water to be had. At least not here. They were remnants but their bodies did have needs. Food and water were not optional. They learned that early on. But Yazoo was confident that they could go for awhile without both and be relatively fine. They could not possibly be as needy for nourishment as the average human. Although they could get the same pleasure and satisfaction from overindulging in the foods and drinks that they preferred.

As Yazoo remembered Kadaj liked snack foods. Mostly the dry and savory kind. He munched on them often. The last thing Yazoo remembered him eating was a packet of rice crackers flavored with soy sauce. A few crumbs had stuck to his chin and Yazoo was surprised at how young and child-like it made him look.

Loz on the other hand enjoyed stuffing his face with sweets. Yazoo found it disgusting the way he inhaled pastries and candies like there was no tomorrow. Loz liked fast food too. But he also liked beer. Something that Kadaj didn't really approve of. "It clouds the senses and leaves you open to distraction," he had said once. But Yazoo insisted that, since beer was supposed to be a manly drink, he should be allowed to indulge a bit. Kadaj had just glanced over at Loz, now on this second bottle, and shrugged, walking away.

Yazoo on the other hand had far less specific preferences. He really didn't care what he ate as long as it wasn't too sticky or greasy. He hated food that made a mess. He simply ate to appease hunger. But there had been a few times where he had truly enjoyed something enough to really relish it. And one of those things had been honeydew melon. The sweet light taste was heaven to him And it quenched thirst as well as hunger. How he wished he had some now…

Thinking about food and water began to wear on the long haired man. Still he kept silent, for fear of worrying Loz. His elder brother might begin to get upset if he thought that Yazoo was in dire need of nourishment. But could they afford to wait until they were at the point of starvation before they began searching for food? And under this sun, before the hottest part of the day had even begun, even they would not fair well without water.

And then there was the other issue pressing him at the moment At first Yazoo thought he was only tired from whatever had happened to cause him to go unconscious in the first place. Hadn't he seen darkness after he refused that outstretched hand? He had just assumed upon getting his bearings that he had drifted back into the living world, somehow materializing in some unknown place far away from the remains of Midgar. He had thought the blackness was the result of escaping a very close call with death. A death he had wanted at the time but was also just as happy to escape from. Because in the end every living thing ends up fighting for survival. Even remnants apparently. But that blackness had felt like something. Something all too familiar. And he felt like a fever was coming on.

Yazoo caught sight of Loz off in the distance. When did he start straggling? Yazoo ran towards his brother, afraid that he would indeed fall so far behind that he'd never catch up. The fear in his mind was terrible at that point and he just didn't know why. Something was seriously wrong.

"_And what of Mother?" _Yazoo thought as he ran.

Neither of them had given her a second thought after that uncomfortable exchange earlier.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: More notes from moi! Yay and stuff of that nature I guess. o.o

Things are going to start getting dark now. And odd things begin to happen. So finally, some real progress in terms of plot. But as a story it is meant to be taken as a whole and not a specific plot point that gets built upon. And I think this is the longest chapter thus far. But I'm going to stop obsessing over chapter length now. It's pointless.

Adrastia 12/9/09

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**Brothers in the Wasteland ch. 5**

"Loz!" Yazoo cried out weakly, falling against his brother's back. He was panting and sweating even after running just a few yards.

The elder brother was startled. "Yaz?"

"Don't…. move…," Yazoo panted. "Just… let me… catch my… breath…"

Loz sounded panicked, his hand on the gun blade, ready to brandish it. "What happened? Is something chasing you?"

Yazoo continued to pant for the next minute, unable to answer his elder brother. Loz just did what he asked and stood there as still as a rock. He was worried but afraid to move. Even if he feared the danger of a wild beast on their tail.

Finally, after a lot of heavy breathing and a choked cough, Yazoo fell silent and stood up straight, moving away from Loz's back and standing close by his side in case he began to fall over from fatigue. "Nothing's chasing me. I just couldn't catch up."

"How far behind were you?"

Yazoo shrugged. "Maybe ten yards? I don't know. I just started slowing down… I was afraid you'd walk so far ahead of me that I'd lose sight of you."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault," Loz said apologetically. "I was walking too fast and I didn't look behind to make sure that you were still there."

"I couldn't even run ten yards…"

Loz looked sympathetic. "It's hotter now than when we started."

Yazoo closed his eyes and put his hand up to his head. It was indeed very hot. But he wasn't so sure that all of the heat he was feeling was coming from the sun. When he opened his eyes he noticed that Loz was staring at him. Quickly, Yazoo put his hand down. "When high noon hits…"

Loz nodded. "It will be bad. We will at least need water and shelter. But I don't see any."

"Then we had better press on before it gets too hot."

The elder brother nodded in agreement, still worried about Yazoo's current state. He didn't want him to get heatstroke or dehydration. After all, a thinner body would lose water fast. And Yazoo now looked much like a wilted flower. "I could carry you." Loz offered.

The middle brother shook his head. He wouldn't have himself be carried around unless he was near death. And he was fairly certain that he was far from death at the moment no matter how hot and tired he felt.

"Well ok then," Loz said, sounding mildly disappointed. "But if you need me to I'm here ok? Just ask."

Yazoo let a slight smile touch his lips. He was still quite impressed with how his elder brother had been handling himself. _"Maybe I don't need to take over so soon. He's doing well enough right now…"_

They walked on a little while longer. Loz constantly looking about as well as looking behind him to make sure that Yazoo was still there. It was the elder brother's plan to find a rock large enough to cast a good shade. They could rest under that rock for awhile and try to avoid the worst of the heat. He had explained this idea to Yazoo who agreed wholeheartedly. But eventually they were going to need water. And neither of them had any idea where to look.

"How about over there?" Loz said, pointing to a large rock with one flat side in the shade. It was at least half as tall as Loz and was large enough for both of them to sit under. "That looks like a good spot. Want to rest awhile?"

Yazoo nodded. "That would be nice."

When they sat down in the shade Yazoo felt relieved. Having the heat off of him felt very good and he breathed out heavily, leaning back against the cool stone. "What now?"

Loz shrugged. "I dunno. "

"I thought you'd keep taking the lead for awhile…," Yazoo said distantly.

"Really? You mean you aren't going to try to tell me what to do? I thought that sooner or later you'd-"

Yazoo shook his head. "No. I'm not… up to it."

"What's going on? You sound strange."

"Tired… That's all," Yazoo muttered. "Besides, you're doing an adequate job on your own."

Loz smiled. "You really think I'm still doing good?"

"Yeah. Just great."

"Thanks. That means a lot to me. Usually you just make fun of me because you think I'm going to do something stupid…"

"I don't really have the capacity to be vindictive right now," Yazoo said weakly. He was staring off into space. And while this was not unusual for him there was something about it that seemed rather off.

"You need water," Loz said finally. "I can tell. I'm gonna go look for water. I want you to stay right here ok?"

"But Loz-"

"Hey, I'm the leader, right? You said. So just do what I say."

Yazoo nodded weakly. He really had nothing else to say. His brother was dead set on finding water and Yazoo was just too worn out to argue over the futility of the idea.

"You take this," Loz said, handing Yazoo the gunblade. "Just in case. I can't leave you like a sitting duck. Right?"

Yazoo flinched. A sitting duck? How bad off did Loz think he was?

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. You know that. Anyone or anything stupid enough to take me on is goin' down." Loz said proudly, clenching his fists. "I'll be back ok."

Loz looked back at him and smiled. Yazoo didn't return it. He just wasn't in the mood. He knew something was very wrong with him. And he had a very bad suspicion of what it was. He really couldn't believe it at first. But a bad pain was starting to collect in his chest. In the beginning it felt like a vortex of discomfort and then it began to escalate. It was starting to burn now. Hesitantly, Yazoo reached for his zipper and slowly began to pull it down. He was breathing in quick, short bursts. He looked down at his chest and his worst fears about the situation came to life.

"Geostigma…" He said, as if he were handing down a death sentence. "Why Mother? Why make my own body work to reject itself? You're mad at me aren't you? That's why you are doing this…"

He couldn't tell Loz. Not yet. He'd just panic and start to cry. It would only make things worse. For the time being it was best to simply perk up as soon as his elder brother returned. Regardless of whether or not he had found water. That way he could keep up the façade a little longer. Just until it got bad enough to be noticeable. And then there was always the gunblade…

"_What am I thinking?" _He thought. _"Suicide? Again? That didn't work the first time. I probably wouldn't even have the nerve now… Loz would have to-"_

That thought startled him. There was no way Loz would do that. Nothing short of a dose of Manipulate would make that scenario even remotely possible. Before he had nothing to lose. They were both dying so everyone might as well just go out with a bang. But this time was different. Someone had something to lose. And that was Loz. Good leadership skills or not he wouldn't survive out here alone without going mad. Especially when those newly found skills seemed to be dependant on Yazoo's presence. His elder brother needed someone to talk to. Someone to just be with him. He couldn't handle being alone for long periods of time.

"Murder-suicide…," He mumbled. The thought sickened him. That was just as bad, if not worse. There was no way that was plausible. _"I'm starting to think crazy thoughts…," _Yazoo thought to himself. _"Heat, thirst and sickness make you go mad if you're not careful. Mad enough to shoot your brother and yourself. Just because of a little Geostigma that you shouldn't even be able to get."_

He stared up at the sky again. "We just stopped thinking about you for the longest time, Mother. We were so caught up in ourselves out here that we forgot all about you. And when Loz went off to find water instead of your help," Yazoo said bitterly, "the fever and aches gave way to the black lesions. He's going to get it too. I just know it. You're punishing us."

Yazoo slowly zipped his coat back up and leaned against the rock. He relished the coolness of it and fell asleep.

_---_

Loz walked on for what seemed like a mile. But out in the wasteland distance felt distorted. When you were out there alone you never seemed to actually get anywhere. It was like walking in place. Loz didn't like it. But he had to find water. And no matter how unlikely it seemed the short haired man remained optimistic. He walked along, hands in his pockets, humming a tune he remembered from the radio. He had found a radio once. He liked the knobs and dials. He liked going through the stations. But Kadaj hated the noise and had taken the radio away. He wouldn't give it back. Even after Loz had promised not to play it too loud. He had wanted to cry. But his youngest brother placated him with promises of Mother and eventually he forgot about the radio. But now he was remembering it again and the memory was pleasant.

"Mother…," he muttered, between hums. "Haven't really been thinking of you have I? I'm sorry. But I need to find water for Yazoo first." He sighed, but continued humming. Maybe there were things more important than Mother.

He shook his head. "Can't think those thoughts. Mother would want me to find water. I know she would. That's probably why I'm out here looking." But he wasn't so sure that was the case. A disconnection was beginning. But he was too transfixed on his quest to really consider it much.

And then the miracle happened. Water! At first Loz wasn't sure what he was looking at. But buried in gravely sand that had been scattered by a dust storm there was a canteen. And the remains of what looked like a camp.

"Now what kind of idiot leaves their canteen like that?" He mused, picking it up out of the dust. He shook it. It was more than half full. He rushed back in the direction he came from, hoping that it was indeed the right way. Halfway there he slowed down, remembering that running made you thirsty and he wasn't about to drink a drop until his brother got his fill.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: I keep putting these in. Yeah. Read 'em an' stuff! :P

Loz brings back the water and Yazoo tries his best to act as if he's ok. I've made Loz very protective of his brother. Something that endures through later chapters. I like this sort of relationship between them. Yazoo is a bit annoyed because Loz is babying him. But he's his big brother, happy to finally lead, and worried because Yazoo isn't feeling well. So he'll put up with it. Besides, who wouldn't want Loz protecting them? So big and strong… *fangirl squee!*

Anyway, they muse over their situation and eventually head out at night. They find something interesting. But you won't know what it is until the next chapter.

Adrastia 12/14/09

* * *

**Brothers in the Wasteland ch. 6**

When Loz reached their impromptu shelter Yazoo was half awake, mumbling under his breath. He was startled out of this state when his elder brother reached out and shook his shoulder.

"Yaz? Hey guess what!"

Yazoo's eyes fluttered open. Before he could say anything a canteen was shoved into his empty hand. He stared at it in surprise. "How-"

"Found it!" Loz said proudly, sitting down next to his brother. "It was just laying there in the sand. Someone must have abandoned camp and left it there."

"That's foolish of them," Yazoo said weakly. "What if they come back?"

"They're not getting' it!" Loz said firmly. "It's ours. If they wanted it so bad then they would have taken it in the first place. Besides it looks like they're long gone."

Yazoo nodded, shaking the canteen. "Did you drink yet?"

Loz shook his head. "Nope. I wanted you to have as much as you wanted first. Because you look bad…"

"Thanks," Yazoo said sarcastically.

Loz gently poked his brother's shoulder. "Feeling better already?"

It was then that Yazoo remembered his promise to himself. To make himself appear as if he were feeling better when his brother returned. And now that there was the miraculous finding of water he had better follow through. Loz was so pleased with his discovery that it would be cruel to upset him now. So he put the gunblade down between them and carefully opened the canteen, putting it to his lips. Tilting it forward he drank the warm water. It tasted a little stagnant but he was so thirsty that he didn't care. He drank more than he intended to but in his current state he couldn't help it. Taking a deep breath after pulling the canteen away from his mouth, Yazoo handed it back to Loz, feeling at least somewhat refreshed.

"You don't want more?" The elder brother asked, surprised. "You can have it all if you need it."

Yazoo shook his head. "No. we have to conserve it. It may be the only water we get for quite some time. Now drink. But don't be greedy."

"I wouldn't. I got it for you after all," Loz said, pouting a little.

Yazoo felt bad about what he had said but he had to look alert now. Still, he would have to mind his manners so that Loz could continue to be a competent leader. Otherwise when the time came he would not be able to rely on him for care. Loz would just fall to pieces. That is if he wasn't also dying of Geostigma by then. As far as Yazoo was concerned now they were both damned. He had no idea where they were but he had a bad feeling that they weren't going to have an easy time getting out. That is if they made it out at all.

"Maybe the world's gone already…," Yazoo said suddenly.

"Huh?" Loz had just finished drinking from the canteen and had placed the gun blade back in its holster. "I didn't hear you."

The long haired man rolled his eyes. "I said, maybe the world is gone."

"You mean that Mother had her way and made this planet her own?"

Yazoo nodded. "Yes. And this is all that's left.,."

"Then where is she?" Loz asked. "Do you think we can find her. And Kadaj too?"

Yazoo shrugged. "Maybe it's like a test. We were failures in Mother's eyes. We didn't complete the Reunion like we were supposed to. And now we either have to find her or rot here like refuse. Perhaps it's more like a punishment…"

Loz shuddered. He didn't want Mother to punish him. "But it wasn't our fault. It was-"

Yazoo put his hand up. "It doesn't matter. We were supposed to be better than them."

"Where'd the canteen come from then, Yazoo? If everyone's gone."

The long haired man shrugged and spoke grimly. "A scraggler. A survivor. That might be the last water on this planet for all we know, Loz."

Loz shook his head, choking back a sob. "That's too scary to think about. I don't want to think of things this way."

Yazoo mentally scolded himself for letting things go too far and going back on his promise. "I'm sorry Loz. Don't worry. It can't be true. Mother couldn't hate us right? She wouldn't make us suffer on purpose."

Loz nodded. "Yeah. You're right." He didn't speak of his own doubts. They were far more simplistic and far less grim than Yazoo's. But they were still there and they still bothered him. "Hey, I think we both should rest awhile. Why not try to get some sleep again, Yazoo? I'll rest but I won't sleep. Gotta watch over you."

"I rested a bit while you were gone. I think I'll be fine. Why don't you take a turn instead?"

Loz pouted. "But you said that I could lead. Are you changing your mind already?"

The long haired man sighed. "If you were really the leader you wouldn't be questioning that would you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means what it means…," The long haired man sighed, leaning his head against Loz's shoulder. He fell asleep quickly, still greatly fatigued.

Yazoo's sleep was deeply disturbed by dreams. Memories of his search for Mother flashed through his mind in quick and violent succession. There seemed to be no order to them. The events ran together into a nonsensical collage. Then a bright flash turned the tides of his nightmare. He saw himself in some unfamiliar place. It looked like the remains of an old shed. He lay trembling on the floor, blackness oozed from his mouth and nose. It flowed from his eyes like obsidian tears. He was dying. And he was alone.

"Wake up. It's getting dark!" Loz called loudly, shaking Yazoo a little too hard for his taste. The long haired man grumbled and hastily pushed his brother's hand away.

"Cut that out. What's wrong with you?"

The elder brother was apologetic. "I'm sorry. But you wouldn't get up at first so I had to try harder."

"Well you didn't have to render me deaf and dizzy in the process," Yazoo responded, rubbing his head. "Anyway, how long was I asleep?"

Loz looked a bit ashamed. "I don't really know because I fell asleep too. Guess I failed at being the watchman."

"Guess you did… Oh well. You needed to rest anyway. So don't get all upset over it."

"I'm not!"

Yazoo laughed softly. At least Loz was alert and awake. More so than himself. Yazoo's head still felt hot and the pain in his chest was no better. But despite being asleep for several hours the fatigue had not abated as much as he hoped it would. He took this as a bad sign and felt that he may have to let his brother in on his secret sooner than he wished. He was lost in thought over his predicament when the canteen was once again shoved into his hand.

"Drink some water," Loz said. "We're going to have to get moving. Sun's almost down and it feels cooler. I figure we should move at night and rest during the day."

"_It's cooler out?" _Yazoo thought. _"I can't even feel the difference." _He then opened the canteen and took a few sips of water before giving it back to Loz, who did not drink.

"I'll have some later. I'm fine now," the elder brother answered, getting up to stretch out. Yazoo followed suit, although he was slower to rise and nearly stumbled doing so. He was grateful that Loz's back was turned to him at the time so he did not see it.

"Are you sure that it's safe to move at night?" Yazoo asked, looking around. Tiny stars were starting to show on the horizon and a pale ghost of a moon could be seen. "After all," he continued. "We don't know what comes out here at night. But at least in the daytime we know what to expect. Absolutely nothing."

"Nothing but the sun and the heat," Loz said confidently. "I know what I'm doing. C'mon."

Yazoo shrugged. It had been his idea to just allow his brother to lead. And he had to admit he was getting good at it. He just didn't want Loz to get too caught up in the excitement of it all and forget to think far enough ahead to avert disaster. But he was right about the sun and the heat. And Yazoo didn't think that they'd last long on the water they had if they moved during the day. _"And in my condition…," _he thought, eyes following a shooting star.

"Get your girly ass in gear!" Loz called out playfully.

"I'm not girly," Yazoo replied bitterly. "I'm alluring. There's a difference."

"Whatever," Loz laughed. "I still think you look like a chick!"

Yazoo just smirked and followed Loz as he walked off in the same direction he had went earlier. He was careful to keep up the pace even though Loz still looked back every so often. Soon it was very dark and the moon cast an eerie light down on the hard, barren earth. Since their night vision was good they were not hindered too much while traveling in near darkness. And soon Yazoo started to feel a bit cooler. His head cleared a bit and he picked up his pace. Suddenly Loz stopped.

"Right here."

"What's here?"

"The abandoned camp," Loz answered, kicking a small impression in the ground. "This is where I found the canteen. And it looks like a fire was made over there at some point. So someone was here. Too bad the ground's too hard to leave tracks."

"We could guess…," Yazoo suggested. He thought it a bit foolish but there was really little else they could do.

Loz nodded. "Yeah. Let's. What do we have to lose? I say he went that way!" He pointed west.

"Alright then," Yazoo agreed. "We'll go that way and hope for the best."

They walked on for a few hours, resting periodically. Loz never drank a drop of the water but he would occasionally insist that Yazoo did, telling him that he still looked sick. Forced to oblige, the middle brother lamented every sip, fearing it to be the last water they'd ever get.

"We'll have to start being on the lookout for tomorrow's shelter," Loz said. "I don't see any good rocks around. It's pretty empty here. And it's so quiet. Not one noise yet."

Yazoo felt uneasy in the silence. It felt foreboding. _"Is this Mother's way of telling us we're all alone?" _

Loz, disliking the lack of noise, stuck his hands in his pockets and began humming the radio tune again. For a long time it was the only sound other than their own footsteps.

Then a sudden, cool breeze hit their faces. And up in the distance something danced with the wind.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: Hey! o.o

Here's chapter 7. Now I'm up to chapter 9 and it's about half done. Originally I planned no more than 12 and I'm going to try to keep it that way if I can. But it may run a bit longer. There will probably be no more updates of this fic until after the Holiday as I has stuffs to do and all that jazz. I want to be at least two chapters ahead every time I upload so as to allow myself to make corrections and never be without an update. I don't want huge gaps in updates. I'm currently playing Wild Arms 3 so the setting of that game is a good inspiration to keep me motivated.

Anywaiz… As you can see they found something very useful. Loz is pretty pleased with having found it and does a good job setting it up. So why do they keep finding exactly what they need? It's very strange … Yazoo's still trying to feign relative health, brushing his weakness off as nothing but hunger and fatigue. That's not going to work much longer though.

Once again, sorry for the plot molasses. It's just the way it goes for some reason.

Adrastia 12/22/09

* * *

**Brothers in the Wasteland ch. 7**

"What's that?" Loz said, pointing to the object that was flapping in the wind.

"Looks like cloth of some sort."

"Let's find out!" Loz exclaimed. He ran towards the object before Yazoo could stop him.

It was a miraculous find. Just like the canteen. The unexpected gust of wind had came at just the right time to bring the object to their attention. Loz kneeled down and grabbed at it without fear. "It's canvas!" he exclaimed.

"Canvas?" Yazoo answered, approaching his brother and looking down at what he was holding in his hand.

"Yeah. It's a tent! It's tattered but it's usable. It's staked into the ground on three sides. See?" To demonstrate Loz pulled on the loose side. The rest of the canvas stayed stuck to the ground. "Cool huh? Wonder if it belongs to the same guy who forgot his canteen."

"Why would he leave his tent as well as his canteen?" Yazoo asked, perplexed.

"Because he's an idiot," Loz answered. "let's take it. The middle support is broken but it's better than nothing. We can carry it with us until we find a good place to set it up."

"Where are we going to set it up? It will be hard because it's missing parts."

"We'll use another rock then," Loz said confidently.

Yazoo nodded in agreement. "Good plan."

"Yeah I know. I'm really good at this aren't I?"

Yazoo had to admit to himself that Loz was. He had grown up a lot since they had awoken in the wasteland. And he seemed very happy with himself. Yazoo felt sorry that things were going to end so sadly. He looked down at the ground and thought of Mother, hoping that they were being led to her somehow. But things had never been this easy before. So why should they suddenly be that way now? He was deep in thought when Loz tapped him on the shoulder ready to go. He already had the tent and what was left of the hardware gathered up.

"Yaz, you ok?"

He nodded. "Just thinking…"

"About what?"

"Why are we finding all of these useful things? Doesn't it seem unusual to you that we would find a canteen when we needed water and a tent when we needed shelter?"

Loz shrugged. "Never really thought of it that way. I just thought we were really lucky."

"_To you that makes sense," _Yazoo thought, deciding not to speak it aloud, as it might upset his brother, who was currently very pleased with himself. To Loz such simplistic reasoning was enough. But Yazoo felt that there was more to the story than just sheer luck. Something was out of place but he had no idea what it was. However, if they were finding useful things then they might as well use them. And if it was a trap they'd deal with it. There was nothing else to be done. They either used what they found or died from thirst and heat stroke.

"Well," Yazoo said, "I guess it doesn't matter right? Let's go. We need to find a place to set up camp." And then he added confidently, "Your choice."

Loz smiled. "Alright then!"

Yazoo was sometimes surprised by how little it took to please his brother. Just letting him decide where to set up a tent seemed to fill him with joy. And sometimes Yazoo wished that he could be like that. But inside he was too complex. He was wrapped up tightly in too many layers. He wondered what it would be like to just let go and stop thinking so much. But it just wasn't in his nature to do so and he doubted that part of Loz would ever rub off on him. However, for the time being at least, he had reconciled himself to taking everything as it came. There was no real point in doing otherwise. The urgency of their current situation had to come first.

They walked on for about half an hour. At first Yazoo felt fine. He had been feeling at way for several hours and the Geostigma had drifted further back into his thoughts. But then the pain suddenly seized him and he fell to his knees, gasping. Loz heard him and turned around, dropping his bundle on the ground.

Luckily Yazoo was only a few feet behind him. Loz kneeled down and steadied his brother, drawing his arms around him gently. "What's wrong?" he asked. His voice was trembling, as was his body.

Yazoo breathed out heavily and rested his head on his brother's shoulder. "I'm… fine," he said breathlessly.

"No you aren't!" Loz insisted, near tears.

Yazoo struggled through pain to make up an excuse that wouldn't force him to reveal his secret. "I'm so tired…," he muttered listlessly. "Hungry too."

"You're weak from hunger?" Loz asked. "Enough to faint?"

"Yes," Yazoo answered. "I'm starved."

"I'm pretty hungry too," Loz said. "I guess it's worse for you because you're not built as tough."

This slightly annoyed Yazoo but in a way Loz was right. His elder brother had a leg up when it came to starvation. Yazoo would waste away a lot faster than he would.

"I'll carry you," Loz said, helping his brother stand. He pulled him to his feet easily. Yazoo tried hard not to look like he was in any pain. And while it was not easy he managed to pull it off.

"That's ok," Yazoo answered, his voice fluid and convincing. "I'm fine now, brother. You don't need to carry me."

"Well alright," Loz said. "But if you fall again I'm not gonna give you a choice ok?"

Yazoo nodded, not being particularly keen to the idea. "Fine. If you insist."

_"Good. Ready to go?"_

"Yeah."

Loz smiled. "Alright then." He picked up his bundle and they walked on into the night, passing small rocks and not much else.

In truth they were both rather hungry. And Loz brought up the possibility of finding food. "That idiot who left his canteen and tent," he began,. "I bet he left his food too."

"What makes you think that?"

"He left everything else didn't he?" Loz sounded sure of himself.

"How do we know it's the same person?"

Loz shrugged. "I just assumed."

"I guess it makes sense…"

The elder brother nodded. "It does."

However while looking for a place to set up their newly found tent neither of them found any trace of food. There weren't even any animals to hunt down or plants to forage through. There was simply nothing more than rocks and dust.

For a good long while none of the rocks they passed were suitable enough to set up the tent with. They were either too large, too small or shaped in such a way as to make the entire thing impossible. All the while Loz was keeping a close eye on his brother and kept offering him water that Yazoo insisted that they conserve. They argued a bit over it and Yazoo started to gasp. Finally Loz put his arm around his younger brother and pulled him against his side.

"Just in case you fall again," he explained. "You're weak."

"I'm alright…"

"Don't argue," Loz said, a worried tone in his voice. "Please…"

After that Yazoo said no more. He knew that his brother was only trying to help. He just didn't want to be coddled. But he did feel rather dizzy. And being steadied by Loz's large and stable frame did feel good. It took the stress off of his body and relieved some of the pain. He still didn't understand why he had Geostigma or how it was even possible. Maybe it wasn't even the same type of Geostigma that had spread around the planet. Maybe it was a special kind of disease reserved just for them. The only explanation was that he had been rejected. That it was Mother's way of taking out the garbage. And he began to think that perhaps there was no salvation. They'd never find Mother here or anywhere. They'd just wander the wasteland until they both died of Geostigma or whatever it was. Unless they died of thirst, hunger or heatstroke first. Either way it would be slow and painful. Maybe that's why they still had Loz's gunblade. A Mother's final act of mercy. A painless way out.

His thoughts were broken by Loz, who spoke excitedly, his arm gently tightening around Yazoo's shoulder. "That one right there! It's perfect huh?"

_B_y this time Yazoo was very tired. He glanced blearily towards the direction Loz was pointing. The rock was smaller and thinner than the one that had rested under during the day. However it had a similar shape. One side was mostly flat. The shape appealed to Loz. But whether it was due to structure or familiarity he didn't know. But he thought it was perfect and Yazoo nodded in agreement.

"Want me to help, brother?" the long haired man asked.

"Nah, I can do it myself. You better sit down and rest ok?"

"Very well," Yazoo said in a low voice. He sat down on the hard ground, finding it unavoidably uncomfortable. He watched Loz set the bundle down by the rock and get to work. Loz had always been good with his hands and did well with tools. He enjoyed tuning up their bikes almost as much as he enjoyed riding. Yazoo thought that he would have made a good mechanic. He was grateful for Loz's skill now because in truth he was very tired and really did need to sit down. And no matter how uncomfortable the ground felt now he had better get used to it. They were going to have to sleep on it too.

The tent was larger than Loz had initially thought. Which was good because he would need the extra slack. Straightening and smoothing out the canvas, he found that it had few large holes. Most of the tattering had been done to the end that had been unsecured and left to the mercy of the wind. And since there was no longer anything left on that end to fasten a stake to, that would have to be the part that was fitted around the rock. Loz just hoped that it would not rip. At least it was not the end with the entrance flap, because that would have been very inconvenient. Snapping the canvas tent out like a fresh sheet, Loz laid it over the rock. He pulled it taut and picked a stake up off the ground and put it through the metal ring embedded in the canvas. Using his strength he easily pounded the stake into the hard, rocky ground with his fist. It hurt a bit but not bad enough for Loz to complain. He was extremely durable and minor injuries did little to affect him. Unless said injury was part of being teased he seldom complained.

Repeating the process with the other two rings, Loz stood up and admired his work. A lopsided yet useable shelter that would offer some protection from the sun and heat.

"All done Yaz!" He called, grinning proudly. "What do you think?"

"I think it looks dreadful," Yazoo said. "Cozy though."

Loz smiled, walking over to his brother and helping him up. "I did a pretty good job huh?"

The middle brother nodded in agreement. "I'd say so."

"Well let's get in then. You need some sleep. So do I."

When they entered the tent Yazoo saw that it looked better from the inside. It was roomy enough for them both to lay down comfortably in. And the face of the rock would probably stay cool enough to provide some comfort. He sat down against it and yawned, exhausted.

"Better get some sleep Yaz," Loz said, rubbing his eyes like a child. "I'll keep watch for awhile. Just to make sure it's safe out here. Wanna use my jacket as a pillow?"

Yazoo shook his head, realizing that it would mean the bare flesh of Loz's upper body making contact with the hard and scratchy earth. "You won't be able to sleep comfortably, brother," he said, laying down and resting his head in his folded arms. "I'll be ok."

The elder brother was unconvinced. "You sure?"

"Yes. Stop worrying about me so much so that I can get to sleep. And before you ask, no I do not need water."

Loz looked amused. "Little brother needs a nap."

Yazoo shot his brother a halfhearted glare and promptly fell asleep. His sleep was filled once again with bad dreams. He saw Kadaj standing in a field of flowers, looking very sad. He held his hand out and Yazoo tried to take it. But a black wave came towards him and everything was suddenly swept away into the darkness.

"Come back to me brother…," Kadaj's distant voice echoed. "I'm waiting…"

And then the dream faded away into nothing. Leaving only the memory behind.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: Been really sick. All holiday. Lucky me huh? And I'm still coughing. x.x

Ok soo… I forgot that I already uploaded chapter 7. So here I was ready to upload it when I noticed it was already there. I hope I'm good with the dialogue. I usually try to make dialogue flow as naturally as possible. A lot of drama shows and soaps have very forced, overly dramatic dialogue and I don't like that. But as I said before certain characters... I don't capture them well. And if I attempt to force them to conform to a certain standard then they will end up sounding very forced and I don't want that.

Not much development here. But it's a bit funny in the beginning. They talk about food and Loz is pretty confident that he's going to get some. Meanwhile Yazoo is still suffering. Poor thing.

Adrastia 1/4/10

* * *

**Brothers in the Wasteland ch.8**

The first thing Yazoo felt upon waking was stifling heat. He could barely breath. He opened his eyes and saw black. For a second he thought that the dream had come back to haunt him. But the black he saw was merely leather. Loz was huddled up against him, his shoulder pressed against Yazoo's forehead.

"Get off of me you big lug!" Yazoo said, pushing his brother away. He was sweating and his long silvery hair clung to his face. He swept it away, making an irritated noise as he did so.

"Sorry," Loz muttered tiredly. He yawned and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Were you trying to smother me?" Yazoo asked, annoyed. Sweat was dripping down his face and he was still feeling short on air. He pressed his cheek against the rock, relishing the coolness. He knew that part of the heat he was feeling was due to a fever. His head was already beginning to ache.

"It got cold last night," Loz answered apologetically. "You were shivering." He then added with some difficulty, "And you kept calling Kadaj's name…"

"I had a bad dream…," Yazoo said distantly.

Loz looked down at the ground. "I miss Kadaj…"

"So do I," the long haired man replied. "Loz, do you dream of him too?"

"I don't remember my dreams much. But I think of him before I go to sleep." Smiling fondly, he added, "And I think of you and Mother too. I always did."

"This is… Different though," Yazoo said. "It's like what I saw before I woke up here. And it upset me. Then I saw the blackness. The same blackness I fell through before I woke up here. I assume that was just a dream too but-"

"I saw blackness…," Loz said uneasily. "I fell right in. Because I wanted to."

Yazoo sighed quietly. "We came here of our own volition."

"But that woman didn't feel like Mother at all!" Loz insisted. "So we shouldn't have went to her. Didn't we do the right thing?"

"Maybe not. I don't know… Maybe Kadaj knows something we don't and that's why he was trying to talk to me."

"Hey Yaz?"

Yazoo looked up at his brother's inquisitive face. "Yes?"

"What did Kadaj say to you in your dream?"

"He wanted me to come back to him. He said he was waiting. "

"Just you?" Loz asked, sounding disappointed. "What about me?"

"I'm sure he wants you back too, Loz. He wouldn't forget you."

"Yeah you're right!" The elder brother said happily. "What about Mother though?"

"I didn't dream of her. I don't even feel her anymore. Do you?"

Loz shook his head. "No. I don't. and I'm not sure if- I mean…." He searched for the words but couldn't find ones that didn't sound blasphemous. And part of him was still very much afraid of falling out of Mother's favor after what he had said to himself when he found the canteen. So instead he just shook his head again and spoke softly and evenly, unsure of his words. "I mean I'm not sure what to think at all anymore. About Mother I mean."

"You doubt. Don't you?" Yazoo said matter-of-factly.

Loz looked stunned. "Yazoo! Don't say that!"

The middle brother shrugged. "Whether you want to acknowledge it right now or not it's like a veil has been lifted. And you will never be able to go back to the way things were before."

Loz said nothing. He just stared at his brother, looking both sad and relieved at the same time. At least he and Yazoo shared the same doubts. Yazoo was just bold enough to speak them out loud.

Anyway, Yazoo began, hoping to lighten the mood a bit, "I'm sorry about yelling at you like that when I awoke. You were just trying to take care of me."

"It's alright," Loz said, smiling. "I know how you can be in the morning."

Yazoo just smirked and stretched out his stiff body. Doing so make his chest ache. He found that his back ached as well. But he hoped that it was just from sleeping on the hard ground. Although a distinct burning sensation told him otherwise. He ignored it for the time being, trying hard not to wince as he did some much needed stretching. He looked over at Loz who was unzipping his jacket.

"Hot," he muttered, taking the leather jacket off. "Why don't you at least pull your zipper down and give yourself some air?"

It was a situation Yazoo had not been prepared to deal with. It was getting hot. And he would have liked to have a bit of ventilation. But he had not checked on the progress of his lesions since yesterday afternoon. For all he knew it could have spread far enough upward to make it impossible to expose even a few inches of skin without revealing his secret. And after the tense and emotional conversation they just had about Kadaj and Mother, Yazoo didn't want to upset Loz any further. Not now. Even if things seemed hopeless, and Yazoo believed that they were, he didn't want Loz to know that. Let him be happy for awhile. He'd been the backbone of their wasteland trek so far and Yazoo believed that he deserved something for that.

"I'm ok, brother," Yazoo answered. "It's not that hot out yet."

"But you're really sweating bad," Loz said, looking as concerned as ever. "You'll lose water. And you keep saying that we need to-"

"Conserve water," Yazoo finished. He sighed. He couldn't start acting like a hypocrite now. That would make his brother suspicious. He nodded. "You're right."

Cautiously he unzipped his coat, opening up the collar but not much else. He was relieved to see that the Geostigma had not spread that far up. At least not yet.

"You're not gonna pull the zipper down any more than that?" Loz asked. "You'd be cooler if you'd give yourself more air."

"I'm fine this way," Yazoo answered flatly. "You know that I prefer being covered up."

Loz shrugged. "Whatever, I guess." He crawled over to the rock and sat with his back against it. It was just cool enough to offer some relief. The tent was pleasantly shaded and the few holes in the top didn't let too much sunlight in. "You need water. And don't argue this time. You're sweating too much."

Yazoo didn't protest when Loz passed him the canteen. He drank a bit and handed it back to Loz, who took marginally less water than he had.

"Running low." Loz said, shaking the canteen with a dissatisfied frown. "We'll have to get more."

"I don't know where," Yazoo sighed, resting his head on Loz's shoulder. The sturdiness of his brother's large frame felt comforting. And since he was beginning to feel very dizzy it was the only thing that was keeping him from falling over entirely. Luckily Loz only took it as a gesture of brotherly affection and did not inquire about how Yazoo was feeling. Instead he began to talk about food.

"I'm so hungry. I wish I had some meat."

"Meat?" Yazoo asked. "Just like you…"

"Yeah I know!" Loz laughed. "Greasy, fried, barbecued. Anything. Just meat. And lots of it. Fries too. With ketchup. Oh and beer. I could really go for some beer."

"Alcohol would make you dehydrate faster in this heat," Yazoo said.

"Well then I'd have extra water on the side."

Yazoo laughed softly. His brother could be so amusing sometimes. "I'd like something cool. Like melon."

"You feel hot so no wonder," Loz said. "Anyway, we need to get some food."

"Where are we supposed to get it?" Yazoo's tone was disinterested. He was feeling very feverish and it was hard to focus his thoughts on any one thing.

"Gonna go out and look," Loz said.

"Look for what? Food that's been dropped on the ground?"

"Yup," Loz answered.

Yazoo laughed softly. "You really think it will be that easy?"

"I do. And I'm gonna go now before you get too hungry. You're really looking bad. I gotta get some food into you. Then you'll feel better."

"_I doubt that," _Yazoo thought, clutching his chest. Loz sounded very sure of himself though. But he was doubtful that Loz would find anything out there that they could eat. But if he was going to go out searching for food he might as well do it before the noontime sun hit.. Yazoo was too feverish to gauge the actual temperature but he assumed that it was already beginning to heat up towards a very uncomfortable level.

"Gonna leave you the canteen," Loz said, picking up his jacket. He abruptly moved to put it on and Yazoo had to brace his hand against the ground to keep from falling down. Loz did not notice this. He put the canteen in Yazoo's lap and smiled. "Don't worry. I won't get too thirsty."

"But you'll be outside in the hot sun. Don't be a fool. Take the water."

"But Yaz, you need-"

Yazoo shook his head. "I know I said I'd let you lead me. But this time I'm going to have to insist. Like you did about carrying me if I fell again. If you take the water I promise I won't protest if you ever need to carry me. Ok?"

Loz sighed. "Alright. But you keep the gunblade. You're too weak to fight. And just in case… Well I want you to have some protection, brother." He handed Yazoo the weapon and he took it without protest.

"Be safe, Loz…"

Loz smiled. "I will. Don't worry about me."

When Loz had left the tent, and Yazoo was sure that he would not suddenly return, he unzipped his coat all the way down. The Geostigma was much worse. It was covering his chest now. Mostly on the right side. It appeared to be wrapping around his ribcage and probably extended to his back. He knew now how short time was. He would not be able to hide this much longer. As of now Loz was concerned because he thought Yazoo was weak from hunger and could not take the heat. But soon he would begin to realise that something was terribly wrong.

"How can this be happening, Mother?" he said feebly. "You can't even hear me can you? You threw us away…"

At that moment Yazoo was sure that was what had happened. Mother had discarded them. Rather than let them die quickly she had decided to torture them until they died slow and painful deaths. Or maybe this was what happens when their bodies, no longer needed, simply just deteriorate. But that didn't explain the dream about Kadaj. It had seemed so real. If there was something else then he didn't know what it was. He was positive that he had made a choice in coming here. He didn't believe the voice. He didn't accept the flowers. And apparently Loz hadn't either. So why were they here? Yazoo thought he could feel the answer on the tip of his tongue. But it just wouldn't come to him. He was confused by everything and his thoughts just kept conflicting with each other.

"I'm sorry Kadaj… Maybe I should have listened. But I was so full of anger and regret that I didn't want to let go. Such a violent end… She didn't really sound like Mother. But she did sound very soothing to me. I thought I was being deceived because it didn't seem to be what Mother wanted…" Weakened by speaking, Yazoo stared blankly into space. His vision clouded and everything went white then black. He had to force himself back into consciousness. His collarbone began to ache. He pressed weak, gloved fingers to the pained area. The Geostigma had spread.


End file.
